Seen

This poem offers glimpses of encounters witnessed over time with individuals and families navigating death, dying, and the realities of mortality. It reflects their journeys, as well as the impact those journeys have had on my life and purpose. With gratitude, I honor those whose lived experiences made these reflections possible. I acknowledge that the needs we all have leading up to transition in death, bring doulas like myself together in community to accompany others through one of life’s most profound transitions.

Seen

I watched you take your sister to her appointments,

And seal the efforts of medicine, at bended knee.

I watched you plead earnestly, imploring the heavens,

For healing, that you would never get to see.

I saw you arrive drenched in tears and inconsolable,

As I played, full of joy, amongst my cousins,

When the one who held your heart departed,

And left you with so many unanswered questions.

I watched you change my father’s brief,

Yanking his frail body, frustrated that he couldn’t stand straight,

You loved him deeply, but you hated that he was dying,

You feared the future, with bitterness toward fate.

I watched you crumble under stress,

When you thought that no one knew your pain,

I peered into your secret space,

When you were overcome by loneliness, fatigue, and a hero’s shame.

I have seen you wonder where your friends had vanished,

Cursing even your blood, for their abandonment,

I’ve witnessed you forgetting the struggle was over,

As you sprang up needlessly to check that needs were met.

I’ve seen you lose your own independence,

Gradually, meeting the “you” that you never dreamt to get to know,

I saw the courage, comfort, rest, and hope in your eyes,

When you made temporary progress, and when you were ready to let go.

I’ve followed you very closely,

And I’ve often asked myself why…

Why do we warmly welcome and tend to the living?

And often fade in presence toward a final goodbye?

I’m still growing, but I thrive on the sacred lesson,

That life is an altar on which rests all I observe,

For this gift enabled me to recognize,

The call to be present, to be fully human….and to serve.

For in all matters that I could ever see need,

In all things I could ever desire to be,

It has been loving you as myself,

For along this very path, I finally found me.

To all the loved and never lost…I thank you,

For revealing the purpose that brings your tribe here.

The work of death together has become our life’s journey,

Along which we live courageously, in new relationship to our fears.

by Kimberly Wamba

founder of Sacred Life Care Initiative

Michigan, USA

Kimberly is an end of life doula serving families in and around Canton, michigan, USA.

You can listen to Kimberly reading in her own words on the Birth, Death and Doulas podcast at minute 39:00.